Best Lines of the Week (July 16-22): ‘You Are a Cat’
This week on TV showed us dating and deception with the animal mask-clad singles on Sexy Beasts, and a Catfish reveal that felt more riddle than reality.
Plus, a long-awaited High School Musical: The Musical The Series ship may become a reality, while Ezekiel and Benny of Miracle Workers find pleasure in the simple things on the Oregon Trail.
Scroll down to see the best lines on TV this week!
American Horror Stories (FX)
Chad: Four words: auto sensory meridian response.
Milo: What’s that?
Chad: It’s this hyper-relaxed mental state, and people who watch Bob Ross are supposed to get it big time.
— Chad (Rhenzy Feliz) tells his friends about his attempt to put on Bob Ross so his girlfriend will be relaxed enough to have sex with him.
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars (Paramount+)
“I kill b*tches onstage. Why not bury these b*tches?”
—Akeria C. Davenport explains her passion for funeral homes and desire to own and operate one someday.
Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)
“Oh god, did we really make Michael Jordan cry?”
— AFC Richmond owner Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddingham) laments the social media outcry after a player accidentally kills a dog during penalties.
Catfish (MTV)
“This girl’s name was Shanice? And the girl you’re talking to is named Lanise. And you don’t see the correlation.”
— Kamie Crawford’s suspicions of the rhyming names of Deonn’s fiancé and his online girlfriend are confirmed when his fiancé, Shanice, admits to catfishing as Lanise to see if he’d cheat.
Dave (FX)
“Too Jewish? He don’t even got the shit on his head or nothing.”
— Gata (Gata) to Mike (Andrew Santino) after Mike asks the crew if Dave (Dave Burd) looks too Jewish compared to the other rappers being interviewed alongside him.
MasterChef: Legends (Fox)
“Joseph, look at the dish. It looks like a dump bucket. What a waste.”
— Judge Joe Bastianich rips apart a contestant’s California-inspired shrimp dish.
High School Musical: The Musical The Series (Disney+)
“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime? For real this time?”
— EJ (Matt Cornett) finally asks Gina (Sofia Wylie) out with the same question he used while pretending to be her boyfriend during the Wildcats break-in at North High.
Miracle Workers (TBS)
“It’s not just dirt. There’s a big rock. And a medium-sized rock, that’s fun.”
—Ezekiel (Daniel Radcliffe) points out to Benny (Steve Buscemi) that there are things besides dirt in America.
Turner & Hooch (Disney+)
Baxter: “That’s why I keep catching you on her Instagram?”
Turner: “It would be rude to unfollow!”
— Detective Jessica Baxter (Carra Patterson) doesn’t believe her partner Scott Turner (Josh Peck) isn’t still hung up on his ex.
Sexy Beasts (Netflix)
“You are a cat. No, cow?”
—Alexis fails to identify that James is dressed as a beaver on their first date.
